| 8/21/09 |
[30 Aug 2009|09:33pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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we broke up :(
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| you know how you wonder what they are really thinking.. |
[17 Jul 2009|06:38pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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pink |
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I'm sick of wondering what he really doing? or how he really feels about things.
Lately things have been going really good, and than sometimes I break down and
I know they aren't really that good. I'm afraid of losing him but I'm also afraid
of whats going to come next? Just the smalls things push me away from him. I love
him but I don't know how much longer it's going to last. He was talking about
getting me a ring, but he bought a big screen tv instead.. so than it popped in
my head that I probably don't mean that much to him. I've quit talking to certain
friends for him. and now I'm sitting him alone because he has better things to do.
I want to drive far away, far away as I can that is. I don't get paid until the 20th.
which sucks because I know than bills just come and I'm not going to have any money
still. I need to get on ICCP but in order to do that I need to have a open child
support contract. I've talked to him about it, but I just know he doesn't want to
do that. but it sucks because I'm going to be making more money but the baby-
sitter is raising her prices. god more problems just keep showing. I'm never going
to be able to get out on my own with out that. emery is getting so big, she almost
eight months old. No one ever told me it was going to go this fast. hehe I just
needed to vent. I'm going to boise in august to visit my older brother. I'm
excited I miss him. I used to vent to him but it's hard cuz he is either working
or sleeping. he just bought a new car I'm proud of how good he is doing. it's
amazing how such good things have turned around for him.
<3
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| 39 weeks and is soo ready to pop!!! |
[11 Nov 2008|06:39pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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Nickelback |
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So I'm getting really excited! I only have a week left until she will be here. I just can't wait until I can hold her little body in my arms. I'm completely done with getting all of her stuff ready. She has everything she needs plus MORE! I really appreicate everyone that came to my baby showers and supported me by buying her things. That means sooo much to me. Plus; it was a lot of fun seeing everyone. I miss you guys. You know currently I have tried everything to get her out into this world; but she is just stubborn like me and doesn't want to. :] I think my body is getting ready though.
I have tons of pictures on myspace of my belly wow let me tell you she isn't going to be small. hahaha She is most likely going to be a 8 to 9 lb baby. for sure.
Me and Jason are doing pretty good. Still together now. I hope things get better for us though. We kind of hit a rocky road and I just don't know how to get back on track.
<333 More to come plus pictures of when she is born. hehe
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| 24 weeks and 4 days pregnant. |
[03 Aug 2008|11:31pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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just surrender |
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I'm having a baby girl and her name is going to be Emery Elizabeth Grover.
I'm so excited and I can't wait for her to come out so I can just see her.
I'm truely in love with the greatest guy. I love him so much.
He asked me to marry him last night but I told him that would
be a decision that we might have to wait on. and he was fine
with that. I'm sure that I would spend the rest of my life with
him. but I'm scared at the same time when we haven't even lived
with each other yet. but hopefully as time goes on me and him
will figure out what we are going to do. <3
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| true love |
[28 Jun 2008|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Katy Perry |
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I'm really happy right now. All I care about is worrying about this baby that is growing inside me everyday. I'm in love with the greatest guy. I truely love him to death. We both are really scared but we are just living it day by day. We get to find out what we are having on Monday at 1 o'clock. I'm so excited it's not even funny. I've grown up so much. The only thing that's kind of sad is finding out who my true friends are. Jacklyn I thought would be there for me thru the thick and thin but nope. She has completely shown me that she doesn't give a shit about anything but herself and her needs. All I want right now is to work and worry about this baby. Jasin and I have thought of a couple names. For a girl we really like "Emery Elizabeth" and for a boy we like "Jayden Gauge." (I'm sure that we are having a girl though haha Jasin doesn't really want that but it's okay he will love it either way.) I'm working at a really nice place "Falls Valley Elementary" making $8.76 an hour.. and I work Monday thru Thursday. It's really working out well this is the only job besides the chukars field that I have kept I'm quite proud of myself. I'm going to be having a baby shower sometime the end of August I believe or maybe the beginning of September. I'm really happy currently. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I will try and keep in touch more. I got some prego pictures so I will have to put those up too hehe :]
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| Sorry, blame it on me. |
[20 Mar 2008|09:03pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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Alesana |
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A lot of things have changed in the last few months. I don't hang out with any of the people that I used to. I miss a lot of old friends. I wish I would have kept them around. I'm trying to buy a car right now. I finally got a job and kept it; too bad currently I need a second one to get my start on things. I really want to move out. I want to go to Boise but I believe I might be staying here for a while. My mom doesn't believe that I'm going to move out soon, but I am. I need to start spending more time with the family. I'm really starting to miss my sisters and mom and dad. I need to start being more responsible. I really enjoy working with these kids. They are a lot of fun! They defiantly help you learn patience. Jackyln's birthday is tomorrow. and mine is in two weeks exactly. I'm going to 19 years old. How weird! ;] I really like someone right now. I wish I could spend more time with him. :] ♥ Wish me luck this weekend with the car and finding a second job. I can't wait for the summer!! <3
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| I finally have a job; "Le Ritz" housekeeper. |
[02 Feb 2008|04:51pm] |
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mood |
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flirty |
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music |
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Flyleaf |
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Hope Davis | Sister
Jacklyn | Best (girl) Friend
Jason Grover | Boyfriend
Dustin | Best (boy) Friend
Javier Torres | Best Guy
So I'm currently really happy with where I'm going at in life. I'm ready to get out on my own. I finally got a job working at the Le Ritz Hotel; Hopefully soon to be Channel Blend. I've meet some really neat people over the last month. Which brings me to my current Boyfriend "Jason Grover" He is the sweetest guy ever!! Jackie and Me don't fight anymore and we have learned to be completely honest with each other. I've had a hard time being honest with people. But she has made me learn that Life is short and I need to live it to the fullest. No matter what happens. I'm finally over a lot of boys that I liked in the past which defiantly has made a huge impact on my lifestyle. Which is perfect. I'm slowly earning my parents trust back. I really want to move to Boise and go to school at I-ttech. My brother moved up there a couple week ago and he is really enjoying it there. He says it's a lot different from Idaho Falls. hahaha I bet thats for sure. Well I'm rreally happy with everything right now. I hope to find an apartment soon. woot woot. :] <3
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| I wanna love somebody like you; |
[23 Dec 2007|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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music |
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Catherine- the begger |
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So a lot of shit has happened. I went to court and met with my prosecutor; he dismissed my case. So I no longer have to worry about getting into trouble. But I need to be more careful with what I carry around. I have lost a bunch of friends but I have gained a few that I trust with my life. I met a couple new guys. :] They all have different personalities but they all are so much fun. I have finally gotten rid of past guys that I used to like. BTC is no longer in my life at all and for the other one… I needed to quit talking to him he just made me feel guilty every time I talked to him. He has a serious relationship now and she doesn’t trust him (word on the street) so I just needed to quit that shit. I miss him but it’ll be alright. Lane is moving to Boise after Christmas. I’m going to miss him so much. He has been trying to hang out with me but I didn’t know why and now I do. I feel bad that I turned him down. God it’s a small world Mike knows everyone that I used to hang out with. Javier gets to find out what his baby is going to be the day after Christmas. Hopefully then he will realize that he needs to spend more time with Tonya. They are meant to be together. I went to the best party the other day. Buffy and Bryanne are so much fun. I met this guy named Garrett. Oh my, he is so cute! We were making out by the end of the night and it was fun but I really like Mike. We have so much in common and I enjoy talking to him all night. He defiantly has become one of my best friends. Well there’s a little update for you for this month. I will have more after Christmas. Merry Christmas <3
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| Hollywood. |
[12 Nov 2007|07:59am] |
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mood |
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Beirut - a sunday smile |
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Things just keep getting crazier and crazier in life. I got charged with possession 3 weeks ago, I went to court and pleaded not guilty. I meet my prosecuter December 13th. I hope everything goes okay (wish me luck). I've gotten over everyone that I have ever liked before. Good deal. and I have even met someone new. His name is Mike, he is 25 and the sweetest thing I have ever talked to. I really hope that things work out with him. He talks a lot and skate boards and enjoys music. He is a little shy though so it might be awhile before we get too close. But I enjoy him! Jackie is my best friend and I adore the hell out of her. She is the only one that has stuck by my side when I make mistakes. She's the only one that's truely there for me. We talk shit about each other, but we always end up telling each other. I quit my job at Albertson's and I'm currently looking around for one. I actually have a job interview at Shopko today. I think that this will be good for me. I'm looking for a car a cheap and used one, that I can run around and be crazy with. It defiantly has to have personality. :) I'm trying to quit drinking.. or maybe slow down a bit. I dont smoke and I don't do drugs. so I think I'm doing pretty good in life. I need to straighten up a bit though. and Start working so I can go to college. I think I might have changed my career choice. I really want to do something with computers or Interior Design. I will try and keep in touch more. <3
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| burn notice |
[22 Sep 2007|04:40pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Brand new |
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I'm emotionally unstable. I never have fun anymore. I haven't been myself in 5 months. I just feel like I have to hide everything that I am. I really liked him. but she pushed me away because maybe she was scared of letting him go. but I guess after too many fights and too many untrustful moments. we needed to quit being friends. I will slowly move on. She has already moved on. She changes when she is around the others. but doesn't notice it. I notice everything. That's why I'm so good at being a liar. Sad huh? I think I might need to go to counseling. My mom said she will take me.. if I really need it. I'm afriad so. Whenever I try to just sit and think.. I get emotional and start to cry. It sucks that I can't ever have a normal day. Without stupid shit happening all the time. my mom and dad dont trust me anymore. I've completely lost their trust. and I think they have lost my respect. It sucks. My own sister even chooses them over me. Which is sad. I'm afriad of growing up. I'm afriad to move. I'm afriad of too stuck to get out. :/
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| Summer Trip |
[26 Jul 2007|01:11pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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West Virginia: august 1st through the 14th.
Make sure you leave me tons of comments and messages to come back to on myspace.
love you <3<3<3
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| hold-everything |
[04 Jul 2007|03:05am] |
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mood |
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excited |
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So i've been so busy lately which is fucking stupid!!
I've lost a ton of friends. oh well haha.
I like someone :)
Hes perfect!
he likes everything and isnt picky about things.
and is willing to go places that would bother other boys that i've met.
I'm glad that I'm getting to know him more.
=]
<3
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| Baseball Park |
[25 Jun 2007|03:07pm] |
Im working now. I work so much that I don't worry about other people anymore :(
I've lost so many friends. Because I like different people then them. They won't
get along so I'm not going to invite them. I DON'T MAKE PROMISES! I can NEVER keep them.
I have too many secrets that i've forgotten the truth. I like someone but I'm sure he is
just like the rest. BTC has done it again. Excuses excuses excuses won't get you very far.
I love the people that I'm friend with right now. They don't let me do anything stupid.
They actually watch out for me!! I'm happy. :)
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| life is hitting me hard again. |
[19 Jun 2007|07:51pm] |
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mood |
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I've lost a couple friends. and I've gained a few.
but I'm glad to say that i'm happier than ever.
I wish I wasn't still in love with him.
I wish that I could just have him.
and not have to worry about anything anymore.
I miss him more than anything in the world.
If only people understood.
that I do have true feelings for him.
Maybe if he really knew too??
I need to get things done.
I need to start something new.
I need to be more of a friend to some.
I wish I wasnt so busy so than I could be.
I'm starting my first job on the 22nd.
Im sooo nervous.
I really want to travel.
and I want to meet the one guy I really like.
He has turned into my best friend and my enemy.
but I enjoy talking to him all the time.
and I can't seem to get over him.
which I hate.
I'm sorry if i'm not there for you :(
I'm working on being a better person.
Im growing my hair out.
and I'm going to start changing a ton of things.
a couple things I need to quit.
-drinking soda
-drinking period
-no more swearing
-im going to be patient
-i need to get done with school
-less computer
-less tv
Im going to walk more and spend more time with friends, and family.
:)
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| i just wanna sing a song with you. |
[03 Jun 2007|12:43am] |
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Lately, I have been so sick. Ew disgusting. haha. But I'm defiantly getting better at not worrying about so many things. I really love all of my friends that are truely there for me. I love the fact that Jackie and me really have a understanding of each other. When I'm around her I just get this BURST of energy and I want to go and jump and scream. hehehe I love it. I really want to get out more and fill my life up with people and business. haha. I really need to finish my english so I can finally graduate I'm really starting to get depressed about it. haha I need to quit that. Tyler talked to me again. that FAG! I know he doesn't have true feelings for me and he will never have real feelings for me. So he needs to leave me alone because I have already let him go. Which is sad. but it's okay. So I'm thinking about this guy.. [: He's really different then me. But I think he would be a good guy to be around. and He actually has some of the same interests as me. Which is a plus <3
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| anything that i have ever done to you; |
[24 May 2007|05:46pm] |
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I'm completely sorry for! I have changed so much in the past two months. I have never respected myself enough. I've learned that I have the strength to say "no" to peer pressure. I have learned that I need to give up on trying to make myself happy and I need to let other people be happy as well. I know that doesn't make since at all. But I know what I mean =) I have a really good friend name "jackie"; she has taught me so much. The fact that I need to please people that are good to me. Not those people that stab me in the back. and I offically have the best friends in the whole world. and Liz is finally actually becoming happy. I really enjoy the fact that Jason is willing to take care of her. She really truely needs someone like that. I need to find a job and get myself in gear and graduate. I'm thinking about 2 more weeks and I finally will. But I'm really proud of my grades this year. I have done really great. Government I got a B+ HOLY SHIT! hahaha It's nice hehe
<3<3
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